ELAINE FROM PHILLY — Sharon Mark Cohen, MPA, UN Representative for IHAN

It was ironic. Elaine, my second cousin, died shortly after her first cousin, Hank, who was also my second cousin. When I called to notify Elaine of Hank’s passing, she didn’t answer the phone.

I left a message and received a callback later from Elaine’s daughter, Sara. She told me that her mother was in hospice care and I could speak with her, “as they say,” she offered, “the hearing is the last to go.” I told my “big cousin” Elaine that I loved her. It was cathartic.

Elaine’s mother was one of four girls who were my father’s first cousins. Their father and my grandfather were brothers. That branch of our family that immigrated to Philadelphia in the early 1900s referred to my branch as “Newark.” In return, we called members of their branch of the family who settled in Philadelphia, “Philly.”

Just as her mother, Elaine was one of four girls who grew up in Philadelphia. While Elaine was the third child in her family’s birth order, she was the last of my four “girl” cousins to pass away.

We always joked about their Philadelphia accents and the way they pronounced my Aunt Fannie’s name, more like “Fonny.” In my opinion, Elaine had the funniest sense of humor of the four sisters.

I remember Elaine sitting at my parents’ kitchen table and refreshing her lipstick. As a young teenager, I clearly recall her telling me not to start wearing lipstick because once you start, it changes the color of your lips, and you always have to wear it.

When I relayed that story to Elaine’s daughter, Sara, she laughed and said, “She never told me that.” Maybe that’s because by her adolescent days, the chemicals in the lipsticks no longer caused a permanent discoloration of the lips. Who knows?

My family tree notes revealed that in 2009, Cousin Elaine told me she attended the same high school as Cousin Hank. She mentioned that Olney High was their neighborhood high school.

Over the years, I would tell Elaine about visits with Hank and his family when we were in California, and she was always excited to hear how “Cousin Hankie” was doing. Lately, she had become eager to get in touch with Hank, but it was too late, as their ability to communicate had faded.

For more on Cousin Hank, see my June 2, 2026, blog post Holbert’s on the License Plate Frame Connects a Long-Lost Family. My December 25, 2018, blog post highlighted the life of Elaine’s older sister, Flora. See A Smile for Flora. Don’t miss The Philly Branch from Chudnov, dated May 3, 2022. All the posts can be found at sharonmarkcohen.com.

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Elaine Walder

Graveside Service

King David Memorial Park

Sunday, December 7, 2025

Starts at 10:00 am (Eastern time)

Elaine Walder (nee Pecarsky), December 3, 2025, of Atlantic City, NJ. Beloved wife of the late Robert; devoted mother of Caren Walder and Sara Walder (Drew Golin); loving grandmother of Robert Von Golin III and Cassidy Golin. Elaine was predeceased by her parents, Charles & Esther Pecarsky (nee Mark) and her sisters, Edith Tabulsky, Flora Wilson, and Charlotte Landsberg.

Family and friends are invited to graveside services on Sunday, December 7, 2025 at 10:00 AM at King David Memorial Park, 3594 Bristol Road, Bensalem, PA (Section GG). In lieu of flowers, contributions in Elaine’s memory may be made Kosher Meals on Wheels or a charity of the donor’s choice.

www.levinefuneral.com

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After making a charitable donation in Cousin Elaine’s memory, I marked the precise location of her grave on the family tree so we’ll have a record of where she is interred for future graveside visits. I’ll always fondly remember Cousin Elaine and her deep connection with “Newark.”

Elaine - 13 Aug 1937 - 03 Dec 2025

Hank - 27 Aug 1939 - 28 Nov 2025